More Than That
by icecreamincones
Summary: After the original series. Jess and Rory meet and have an honest talk. Oneshot. "I've always thought we'd be more than that."


_Author's Note:_ Before AYITL, takes place some years after the original series ended. The characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino/Dan Palladino. Sorry for mistakes, English is not my first language. And yeah, I love Literati but I've always wanted to write an ending like this. Have fun reading!

 **More Than That**

He was packing his stuff, opening his old greenish duffle bag with all the stains and memories of the past, his adventures. Sand from the West Coast, dust from the East Coast, salty reminders of his trip to Italy two years ago. He never put it in the laundry, although Cara was often complaining about the smell, half jokingly. She suggested to buy him a suitcase for his birthday, listing him all the advantages, but she knew it from the first sentence, Jess Mariano was stubborn as hell. He didn't want anything else than his filthy duffle bag.  
He met Cara at a reading from another local author, a friend of Matt. She recognized him from Truncheons and started the conversation, twisting her dark hair through her fingers and immediately fell in love with his mysterious eyes. He, in return, enjoyed their banter, she smelled like crispy apples and her green eyes had this amused expression he liked. She could keep up with him, their minds connected and when she grabbed his hair and scratched her nails in his back later that night, he knew, he wanted to see her again.  
The last year was satisfying. The press did well, he himself was writing some short stories and his life was stable. Cara moved in four months ago and now they've shared his flat, some blocks away from Truncheons. It was a two bedroom appartment with high ceilings, a tiny bathroom and a spacious roof garden. Life was good. He didn't dare to say it out loud, because, well, he was a Mariano.  
But then he got a phone call and he suddenly felt like trapped in a time machine with no way out.  
Stars Hollow. Sounded like a fairytale city name and somehow it was like that - including gnomes and monsters. Jess still enjoyed having a good relationship to his uncle, talking more than just on birthdays and other occasions. Luke and April visited him from time to time and Jess couldn't help but falling a bit for his younger cousin - she was a smartass and both of them liked to team up against Luke. Jess also tried to call his mother on a regular basis, making sure that she and TJ cared for Doula. Family was always a difficult word for him. He was happy for Luke to be back together with Lorelai, because even he could see that they were made for each other.  
But now he had to face his ghosts from the past. It was his mother's birthday and Liz was convinced to throw a big party, turning 50 would be something special. First he refused to come of course, but Luke called again and told him about her dramatic tantrum, begging Jess to come and pretend to be happy about it. The thing was, Jess couldn't say no to his uncle. He owed him too much.

So he sighed and packed some things for the weekend, including a book for Doula they had just recently published.  
It would be also the first time to introduce Cara to Stars Hollow, the place he lived and suffered as a teenager. Jess pulled the strings of his bag and noticed his cellphone on the table. It was vibrating and he jumped up to reach it.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey babe, it's me."  
"Hey... what's up with your voice? Partying too hard? I'll be there in a minute to pick you up at the train station."  
"I'd wish, but I'm sick. I'm so sorry!" The woman coughed. "I'd thought it'll get better, but I couldn't catch the train this morning. Still staying at Sandy's place. I'm very sorry... I really wanted to support you. I know how you're feeling."  
"It's ok, C. Don't worry. Stay in bed, do some bingewatching of tv shows I hate and get well again. Tell your sister I said hi."  
She sniffled. "Okay. Again, I'm sorry. And I miss you."  
"Miss you, too. Take care. I'll text you."  
"Bye, babe."

Jess scratched his forehead. Okay. Back to being a hermit again. He looked at his watch and sighed. The earlier he'd get there, the sooner he could leave. He grabbed his bag, his keys and left his apartment. Some hours later he arrived at his mother's place. Honestly, he was kind of relieved of how she held her things together nowadays. She didn't move for the last six years, which was a premiere. She had the same husband. Again, a premiere. And although she still had crazy ideas, she took care of Doula and - thank God - didn't homeschool her like she intended to do. Doula went to the local elementary school and already told Jess at his last visit, that she will become a teacher like Mrs. MacGillan. She was a smart kid.  
He inhaled deeply one last time and rang the bell. Welcome to the dollhouse.

It was later that evening, around 10pm, when Jess entered the diner. He saw Luke through the window, cleaning up the counter, still wearing that old baseballcap of his. His nephew smirked slightly.  
"Hey, Uncle Luke."  
"Jess! Hey!"  
Luke smiled genuinely and hugged his nephew. "Good to see you. You made it."  
"Yeah, I've made it. Good to see you, too."  
"So, big day tomorrow, huh?"  
"For Liz, yeah. I guess she wants to pay back for all our cancelled birthday parties in her life. But if it makes her happy...", he shrugged.  
"Beer?"  
"Definitely."  
Both men grabbed a bottle of beer and sat down at the next table.  
"Where's Cara? I thought she'd came with you?"  
"Yeah, she got sick. She went to see her sister two days ago and couldn't make it."  
"Sorry to hear."  
Again, Jess shrugged. "No biggie."  
"Well, there's actually something I wanted to tell you."  
"You're pregnant?"  
"Stop it." Luke shook his head. "Rory's in town."  
"Huh."  
Silence. Jess knew that there would be ghosts from the past awaiting him in this city, but he didn't expect to see her. Last thing he heard she was staying in London. Since the Philadelphia incident, they didn't see each other again. They've e-mailed once soon after, she was apologizing again for showing up like that, he just pretended to be okay. Truth is, nothing was okay. He thought that she's finally ready for him. He wasn't the foolish boy from their teenage years anymore, the runaway, the pathological liar. He was ready to give her anything she wanted. But she wanted someone else. Sometimes he thought he deserved it, a payback for all the times he disappointed her. For being a crappy boyfriend, for running away without telling her. Karma's a bitch.  
"So, I just wanted to let you know. In case... well, whatever. I didn't want you to be unprepared."  
"Thanks."  
Jess noticed a movement outside and next thing he knew, he was staring at a pair of blue eyes that looked somehow frightened.  
"Good timing, Uncle Luke", he hissed and pretended to smile.  
Rory opened the door, her hands shivering and with eyes wide open.  
"Sorry for interrupting you, well, umm, Luke, Mum sent me to tell you she's craving some donuts, but only with sprinkles. But you know how she can change her mind so you better grab some chocolate donuts as well... you didn't answer your phone so... and umm, I wanted to catch a breath, so I've decided to...", she sighed, ".. whatever. Hey, Jess."  
Jess suppressed a smile, because he always liked when she started to ramble. "Hey, Rory."  
"I'll bring her some donuts. Wanted to close anyways... s'that okay, Jess?"  
"Sure. We'll see each other tomorrow. Tell Lorelai I said hi."  
He grabbed his jacket, smiled finally at Rory and left the Diner. After some steps he heard the door open again.  
"Jess.. hey, Jess. Wait."  
He stopped without turning around.  
Rory approached him and nervously tucked some hair behind her ear. "Good to see you. It's been a long time."  
He nodded. "Yeah, long time."  
"You're staying at Liz and TJ's?"  
"Yup."  
She stared awkwardly at her hands. "Mind if I'll join your walk?"  
"Go ahead."  
Silently they walked next to each other.  
"So... how you're doing? The press is going well?"  
"I'm good, it's fine. Everything's stable. What about you? Still trying to get into Buckingham Palace?"  
She smirked slightly. "I couldn't compete with Princess Kate though. Well as you can see, I'm back at the Hollow. Life became... a bit complicated."  
"How so?"  
Rory was heading to a nearby bench and sat down. She looked awful. Sagging shoulders, pale face.  
"I'm turning 30 in two months and my life's a mess. I've thought that I've already had my downfall at 21 when I dropped out of Yale, but I dunno... I loved doing the electional campaign, being a journalist, being on the road. But in the end, I'm still alone. So many contact cards, but where are the people behind them? I'll even started to see Logan again, can you imagine? We ran into each other almost two years ago in Germany. He has a girlfriend, soon he wants to propose to her... what the hell am I doing?"  
Jess listened to her without intervening. His heart was beating and many thoughts came together. Who was this girl, sitting in front of him? Why did she turn out like that? Where's the ambitious bookworm? The honest girl with the pro and con lists?  
"Ror, listen... I'm not judging, okay? But why are you doing this to yourself?", he asked honestly.  
She stared at him. "What do you mean?"  
"You're a strong woman, you were raised by Lorelai Gilmore, for Christ's sake. And now you're still seeing that dick who obviously doesn't have the balls to make a decision? You shouldn't be an option, you should be his priority. Why do you always cling to things that make you unhappy? Leave them behind. Be a writer, be yourself. Go for new things."  
She sniffled and scratched her neck. " I know... why do you always have the guts to tell me things like that?"  
He shrugged. "Because I remember the real you."  
Rory smiled and touched his arm. "You always did." Their eyes met. "Sometimes I wonder how my life would look like if I'd stay with you in Philadelphia back then. Maybe I should have stayed... " She took his hand, slowly drawing circles on his knuckles with her thumb.  
Jess was aware of how easily their finger connected to each other. A flashback of better times. And maybe it would have been easy to just listen to his emotions. But it also would have been wrong.  
So he softly took away his hand from her fingers and cleared his throat. "Rory, no."  
She looked up, teary eyes, her face plastered with a desperate expression. "But, we're here. Both of us. Maybe it's the right time."  
Jess shook his head. "No. It's not. I think there's no right time for us."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You believed in me when no one else did and you've been my first love, Rory. I am forever thankful and I wouldn't miss a day we spent together. And today I still believe in you, although even you yourself lost your faith. But you cannot do that."  
"What? I can't follow you?"  
"This thing, you're doing for years. You did it with me already, you did it with Dean. And I'm guessing the Yale guy is doing it with you. You cannot use people like this. Dean got a fucking divorce! And how long have you been back together afterwards?"  
"That's unfair! You're unfair! Dean wasn't happy in his marriage." Her voice got louder.  
"Maybe he wasn't. But he got stucked with the idea of sharing a life with you. But again, you've realized there's something more xou want. And then you came to Philly. I've thought you fixed everything. But I was a rebound guy for you. Someone who made you feel good, someone you knew who liked you. And now you're doing it again? Because that frat guy makes you unhappy? Sorry, but, no. I've always thought we'd be more than that." Jess felt how emotional his speech got and he tried to calm down. But it felt good to say it out loud.  
Rory didn't say a word. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she nervously bit her finger nails.  
"Ror, I'm not holding a grudge against you. It's okay. You. Me. But I'm sick of sticking to ghosts of my past. I wanna get rid of them. I wanna be free. And even the slightest idea of you and me together is not setting me free."  
She nodded slowly. "Maybe you're right."  
"We had a good time together. To be honest, especially before we dated. It was like... Romeo and Juliet... star-crossed lovers. Too much drama. But luckily we're both alive." He tried to make her smile.  
"You're seeing someone, don't you?", she asked surprisingly.  
Jess watched her expressions. "Yeah, I do."  
"I've thought so. You look happy. Tell me about her."  
He took a deep breath. "Her name's Cara. She's working as a speech therapist in Philly and she's very talented in playing violin. She forgets the world when she's playing her music. She's brave and aspiring and very close to her sister. She's got freckles and green eyes and she loves Sushi. She wants to adopt a cat and makes up names and annoys me with that. She's a good person."  
Rory nodded. "I believe so."  
"Be yourself, Rory. Don't depend too much on others. Be creative. And don't wallow in self-pity. You're a Lorelai Gilmore." Once again he smiled at her.

"Bye, Rory."  
"Bye, Jess."

He stood up and went away. It was a good feeling. He finally felt relieved.


End file.
